My Dearest Sister,
You have been a “Good Church Girl” for a really long time, probably most of your life. First to arrive, last to leave. Always helping. Stepping in when anyone else drops the ball. Folks count on it! Especially church family.
Nobody says it out loud, but you know. “No” is nowhere in the vocabulary of a woman working hard to uphold that image. You know the one: Mother Theresa dipped in chocolate, with the matching hat, purse, and shoes.
You’re exhausted. Can we talk about it? Emotionally and physically. We could even be honest enough to acknowledge Spiritual drain too if you weren’t such a good church girl. Instead, you use scripture to push back:
“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me….”
It’s what you say even though your stomach hurts every time the phone rings, the text pings, the email comes, and another announcement is made from the pulpit. You might really believe your Kingdom value and holiness are directly proportional to how worn out you are.
I get it. Fear of disapproval; the need to feel valued and valuable; martyrdom as a ministry—It all leads to cheating on God with the Church. If choir rehearsal leaves you too tired for a regular, productive personal bible study, you know exactly what I mean.
Can I tell you something? Strength does not come from self-destructive behaviors (even in service to the Church).
Jesus never told you to kill yourself for any of the annual calendar activities. Truth is Paul was speaking of life’s seasons (Philippians 4:10-13). Like yours, the Apostle’s life had wild ups and downs as he carried out the tasks given to him by God himself. The Readers of this letter were being commended for supporting him through his difficulties. Verse 13 was never intended to be taken on as a mantra for overworking the Saints.
I love you enough to say it out loud. Burnout is a sin. Even if leadership is resistant, you still have a responsibility toward self-care. You would never deprive someone you care about of good food, adequate rest, or a safe place to be honest emotionally. Maybe nobody told you loving care begins with you. It has to. We are called to wise stewardship of our resources. You (your gifts, your time, your health) are the most valuable thing we have. You model your message.
There is nothing in the Bible commanding permanent volunteerism in exchange for Salvation. 1John 3:18, Acts 20:35, Galatians 5:14, and dozens of other scriptures teach us to have a servant’s heart. The traits of that heart (faithful, giving, esteeming others higher, serving as unto the Lord) are where you will find your identity, not in the tasks that showcase them. In other words, you serve because of God’s good graces, not to gain them. If what you’re seeking on Sundays has to be earned, you’re chasing the wrong Gospel.
The greatest Servant of all time is Christ. It is our job to be Christ-like. He gave fully during his ministry. And then he gave his ministry fully to those who had the leadership qualities he gave them. He lived out a model of rotating leadership and servanthood, and of seeking rest outside of his time in the pews. An eternal being wasn’t limited to the three and a half years he spent preaching. After his resurrection, he had every right to take over leading New Covenant Believers and would have been wildly successful. And yet He still let the next group of leaders (Nugget: he groomed a team to take over while he carried out his mission) take over running the Church. Even though they were imperfect. Even when they didn’t do it right. Even when they disagreed with each other. Jesus sent a Helper and took a seat. (Acts 7:55–56; Romans 8:34; Ephesians 1:20; Colossians 3:1; Hebrews 1:3; Hebrews 8:1)
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you more to do…
Whose yoke is that? If it’s not His, then it’s time to put it down.
Matthew 11:28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Did you catch it? “Learn from me,” he says. “…and you will find rest for your soul.”
This wasn’t a suggestion. What I’m saying to you, oh most precious Daughter of the King, is that you have an obligation to seek rest out of obedience. Serve well. Serve fully. And sit down sometimes while others develop the skills God gave them.
It’s scary. Taking a step back can feel like being demoted. And it would be if the thing you’re taking a break from is what gives you value. It’s not, Sis. Your value comes from the one who gave you the talent in the first place.
You won’t be gone forever. Come back after your heart is rested and recharged. Your boundaries will be healthier than ever. Your thoughts clear. Your joy is genuine. And your Savior will be pleased.
In His Rest,
Kairis Chiaji
Recent Comments